President's Manifesto - September 14, 2023
We’ve all been there in the schoolyard, either watching a bully target a vulnerable kid or been the vulnerable kid ourselves.But what allows bullying to happen? Why, even with “zero tolerance” policies, do bullies still target other kids at school? And how does this impact us in adult arenas such as work and politics?
Bullies by their very nature are cowards, targeting people who are unable or unwilling to fight back. They use the fear they create when they attack those who are weaker to build power for themselves, believing that the people watching them be bullies will either join them (to be on the “strong” or “winning” side) or be fearful enough to not interfere. To go back to the kids in the school yard, the target often thinks either “I did something to deserve this” or wonders “why isn’t anyone helping me” and the other students quite often are thinking “I’m glad it’s not me.”
We saw this dynamic play out on the international stage during the first half of the 20th century. As Germany invaded the countries surrounding it and initiated programs that first humiliated marginalized groups (including Jewish and Roma people), the rest of the population either joined in or did nothing, grateful at the time that they and their loved ones were not targets.
Of course, bullies don’t stop bullying, they just continue to widen their target zone as they gain power, which many people in Europe during the 1940’s found out the hard way….
But how does someone become inured to causing suffering in others? What causes otherwise reasonable people to intentionally cause harm on the orders of an authority? Stanley Milgram set out to answer these questions in his now famous Milgram Experiment at Yale University shortly after WWII. It’s deceptively simple: people were asked to provide an escalating level of shock to a “victim” in a glassed room and encouraged to do so by an authority figure. Now, you would think people would question being told to cause harm to another, right? Well, people DIDN’T question, and in fact most were willing to deliver levels of shock that were potentially lethal (fortunately the “victims” were actors and not actually hooked up to a live charge). Milgram concluded that people were susceptible to acting against their ethics when such requests came from a person with perceived authority, especially if they thought by doing so they could gain benefits for themselves.
Hmmm, given that bullies gain and keep their authority by causing harm and then expect their followers to do the same….I think it’s safe to say we can see Milgram’s experiment playing out on the playground–and in adult arenas as well.
Bullies also take advantage of the “bystander effect,” which boils down to most people choosing to do nothing in difficult or dangerous situations. After all, in acting or speaking up we could become the next target, so safer to keep our heads down and move along, right? But bullies count on that, and they don’t stop–they simply become bolder and bolder if they are not challenged. And if challenged they tend to deflate rather than escalate their actions in most cases.
So, what can we, as decent human beings of good conscience do? We can bear witness to the actions of bullies at whatever level we are comfortable. That may mean taking video for dissemination, it may mean physically standing up and putting ourselves between the bully and their intended target. It may mean attending meetings and holding people in power for their actions or inactions regarding the safety of vulnerable or marginalized groups.
But bottom line, it means deciding to say “no more,” because if we don’t, we allow bullies to gain power, and eventually no one will be safe. So, my challenge to all of you, my fellow Humanists, my colleagues, and my friends, is to decide what “no more” means to you, what you are comfortable doing to bear witness to the actions of bullies, and whether you are comfortable intervening. Yes, it may be more than uncomfortable–frightening in fact–but if we don’t step up and act we may be the next targets.